Remembering Tea time at Christmas

I was at a friend's house last week for a Christmas party with some of my girlfriends. We were having a wonderful time munching on some veggies when I decide to venture around and explore this house I had never been to before. I noticed a beautiful china cabinet in the living room, and decided to take a look. As I approached the cabinet I realized it contained a tea cup collection. Appreciating such a collection, I looked closer and then I gasped! As I looked over the beautiful china I noticed several cups that were identical to those my mother-in-law owned. Memories began flooding my soul. And for those of you who know me, you can guess my immediate reaction. Insta-tears!

My friend Charlotte hugged me and asked me about this wonderful woman I was lucky enough to call Mom for a short period of time. You see, I really began to appreciate the art of tea when I met Matt's mother, Paula. Often she and I would sit and drink a cup of tea together as others ran around doing chores or errands. She would open up her china cabinet and tell me to pick out my favorite cup and then ask me to choose a tea. We always drank apricot tea. For years I thought it was her favorite tea, until I realized she had a different tea for each friend. She must have had dozens of "favorite" teas. She was that kind of a woman. She loved what you loved and made you feel special and welcomed by something as simple as a cup of tea.

Mom's breast cancer relapsed about a year after I met her. Her health was on a downward spiral from that point on, but her faith and our cups of tea together never faltered. Over our steaming cups of apricot wonderfulness, she would tell me stories of her childhood, of her father, mother and sister, of her marriage to the only man she ever loved, and her relationship with her Savior who she knew would heal her.

There are sad memories, too. Like massaging her arm to release the fluids when the pain from the lymphoma was so bad that she broke down and cried in front of me. And in the midst of all the dysfunction of cancer, I remember laughing with her when she somberly admitted that she had no hair. (Apparently the fact that she wore a wig or a turban 24-7 was not enough of of clue!)

God did heal Mom. During Matt and my baccalaureate service, we received a call that Mom went home to be with the Lord. Despite our loss, we found relief in knowing that she was no longer in pain, and that her Savior had healed her perfectly. She was not in attendance at our wedding nor did she have the opportunity to see any of her grandchildren, but her presence is always with us. And this Christmas, as I drink my cup of tea, I will honor her memory. I will remember Mom, and tell my children her story. I will think of how she is in heaven now probably making new friends, and sharing a new "favorite tea". And I will smile through my tears because I was blessed enough to have been graced with her love in my life.


Lord, This Christmas I thank you for the lives you have brought into my life. Thank you for the precious gift you gave me in Paula, and thank you for keeping her memory alive in me. Help us all to cherish the time we have with loved ones, and not take their love and life for granted. This Christmas we thank you for the gift of love that you gave to us in the baby Jesus, and that you demonstrate through the lives of those you have brought into our path. Amen

Ugly little bracelets

If you are a parent, you've no doubt received a homemade gift from your child. You know the kind I'm talking about-some type of craft project from school or church where you must wonder what the teacher was thinking? It often begins with a flimsy base of some sort, and includes brightly glittered accents with copious amounts of glue. Probably the tackiest thing you've ever seen, right?

Well, mine was made by my 4 year old daughter, Kyla. Recently, she brought home her first homemade bracelet for me from Sunday school. It consists of a white pipe cleaner with little plastic beads that she strung on it. She gave it to me and said, "Mommy, I made this for you because I love you." What do you think my reaction was? Did I throw it away or tell her I didn't want it because the neon plastic beading doesn't match my highly sophisticated wardrobe? NO! I wore it with pride, and to me that ugly little bracelet is as beautiful as a diamond tennis bracelet!

I ran across that bracelet today in my jewelry box when I was dusting, and I got to thinking...I wonder if that's how God sees us? Are we, in our ugliness of sin, a beautiful piece of jewelry to Him? I wonder if when we offer ourselves up to Him in love, he gladly takes our gift and instead of seeing an ugly bracelet, he sees the diamond tennis bracelet instead. You know what? I think he does. And I am every so grateful!

Lord, Thank you for taking this ugly little bracelet and making me beautiful in your sight! Please give me that kind of vision to see the world!

Matt's Going Away Party

Before Matt left for Officer Training Camp, I was able to successfully throw Matt a surprise going away party, where we were able to spend some time worshiping God through music and also were able to lay hands on and pray over Matt. In addition to our friends from church and work, Matt's family was even able to join us from NJ and Northern VA! It was great to see them and have Matt see a portion of the people who are supporting him this summer. During the party, I shared a few thoughts from my heart about Matt and why I asked everyone to join me in sending Matt across the "Blue Line". Some people have asked me for a copy of what I wrote, so I thought the best way would be to post it on here. I know it is a bit long for a blog, but I'm not exactly one who can keep it short-sorry!

Thank you to all of you who have been such a support to Matt, myself and our family! We are all having a great summer, and God is doing some amazing things in all our lives as He draws us closer to Himself. We leave Tuesday (6/24) to go visit Matt at Maxwell AFB in Montgomery, AL, for a week, and REALLY look forward to seeing him!!!!!! After that, he will be away for another 6 weeks for more training and an internship throughout the southeast, and we will continue our trek over the east coast visiting family and friends. Feel free to check out Matt's blog at www.jmatthewhenry.com if you would like to see more of what he is up to this summer.

So...here's Matt's going away letter from me......I love you sweetie, and I am so proud of you! I think you are amazing!

When I first met Matt back in college, I was blown away with his passion for the Lord, and the way he lived his faith authentically. It is probably the one thing that most attracted me to him, and quickly drew me to fall in love with him. It is now 16 years later, and I can honestly say that his faith has only grown, and through the years, he has learned to be real about his Christianity in an even stronger way. And still, it is what I love most about him!

Matt comes from an amazing heritage, and his parents modeled dependence on God in a remarkable way. He often recalls the numerous “five dollar in the mailbox” stories, where the family would have nothing in the house to eat, so they would sit down and pray. Dad would go to get the mail, and in the mailbox was an envelope with $5 in it-enough for bread, milk and some peanut butter. Personally, I remember the first summer we were dating. Matt was preparing to have surgery on a tumor, which was later diagnosed at malignant. The night before the surgery, Matt’s dad had the whole family gather together. We sang worship songs and prayed over Matt. These and many other examples, left an indelible mark on Matt’s life, and taught him the importance of trusting God in difficult circumstances.

It was to be a pattern Matt would continue, and it is one he has led our family with throughout the years. When we face difficult circumstances, or need guidance, Matt chooses to turn to God through worship and prayer. I remember living in NJ, and knowing God was calling us into full time ministry. We spent countless hours at night around the keyboard singing, and just about as much time at Joe and Pam’s house praying for God’s direction.

And how could we forget that last Thanksgiving in WI? There we were in our little house with 25 Chinese students who wanted to eat a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner for the first time. Everyone knew that we would be leaving for VA soon, and what did Matt choose to do after dinner? Sing worship songs, and pray. It was such a precious time, and I’ll never forget singing “How Great is Our God” with those guys. It was a moment of complete trust in God’s goodness, despite an uncertain future.

So, Matt, here we are again, at another major intersection in our life. And in the spirit of the examples already laid out before us, I wanted to make sure you had the opportunity to come before God, and worship Him. We also wanted to take some time to have your loved ones pray over you. We are all so excited for what you are about to embark on-Your dreams are finally coming true, and we couldn’t be prouder! The Air Force commissioned you on behalf of the President of the United States, well, we want to Commission you on behalf of the Creator of the Universe, the Savior of our Souls, and our loving Father who graciously walks beside us.

As I was planning and thinking about what to say, I was drawn to Romans 3. I love the whole chapter, but in the interest of time, I’ll jump to verse 38:

³⁸ And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹ No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

No matter our circumstances, our God is always great, and He has been nothing but good to us! He is faithful, even when we have not been, and I know that his love and faithfulness will forever remain. So, we send you with the one thing that will follow you all of your days, will always be faithful, and will never disappoint you—we commission you in God’s love.

Thank you God for your love that never does disappoint us, and is always faithful! Than you for how You have taken care of us so far this summer, and I thank you in advance for how You will continue to bless our family! Thank you for my husband-one of the 3 best gifts you have ever given me, and the closest human example I have seen of your love to me! You are amazing, God!

Because he trusts in You.

Well, my husband has been away for almost a month now, and I am being reminded that I need to put my money where my mouth is, so to speak. I made a lot of big talk on my blog and to the girls in my small group about how I was going to let God be my "husband" this summer while Matt was away. Since he's been gone, in addition to the daily issues of taking care of 2 small children and a house, I have gotten into a car accident, the air conditioning in my house broke, we haven't had a paycheck in a month, and now my latest battle has been with a family of mice who have taken up residence with me in my bedroom! Let me tell you....the mice issue is the worst problem of them all!!!!!!!!! YUCK!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, I was starting to freak out a bit, not quite sure how to handle everything. I had been praying and asking God for direction and advice, but, I was still worrying and stressing over how to deal. I was in the bathroom getting ready with my youngest daughter, Charis, while all this was taking place. On Matt's side of the sink, he keeps a stack of note cards with Bible verses on them. Charis was playing around with them, and as I went to pick them up, I noticed that the top card was Isaiah 26:3.

"You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."

I have heard this verse 1000 times, but somehow never realized the last part of the verse, "because he trusts in You". In other words, when we trust God completely, our mind will be focused completely on Him, and therefore, we will be completely at peace. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not at peace because I was not trusting God fully. I stopped to contemplate this fact.

Fact #1 I know He will take care of us.
Fact #2 I know He wants what is best for us.
Fact #3 I know He has never, nor will never fail us.

So, right now I'm working on really trusting God. I know that when I can grasp that, the peace will perfectly flood my spirit. It's getting better, for sure, but I'm still a work in progress. What else is new, hugh?

Dear Lord, Thank you for your faithfulness to me and my family. I know you will take care of us, and I know I can trust you. Help me to trust you more, and keep my focus on You alone, so that Your peace, which I so desperately desire, can overwhelm me!

The Holy Spirit as our Sanctifier?

Recently, while preparing for my small group's Bible study time, I ran across two very disturbing passages of Scripture!

2 Thessalonians 2:13

But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth.

and 1 Peter 1:2

[God's elect] have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:

Do you see what I am talking about? Are you as freaked out as I was when I read this? Probably not-mostly because I'm a nerd, and probably only I would find this crazy, interesting and even somewhat disturbing (disturbing only because I had never been taught this idea in Sunday School, and I am 33 years old, and still had never heard this idea!) I was struck by the mention of the Holy Spirit as our sanctifier. I immediately had a detailed discussion with Matt, my husband, about it. In the past, I never saw The Holy Spirit as our sanctifier. I always saw Jesus as the one who makes us holy, and free from sin. As a child and young adult, I always heard about Jesus' sanctifying work on the cross. However, the verses clearly state that the Holy Spirit is the one who does the sanctifying. So...my thought process was how does that all fit together? Plenty of passages also mention Jesus' sanctification. So, who does what? What Matt showed me was that Jesus made the way for sanctification to be possible. He did the work on the cross that provided the gift of freedom from sin. It is the Holy Spirit that actually comes personally into our lives, and wipes our slate clean.

How cool is that? I thought it was very interesting to picture it that way. It was like Jesus hands the baton off to the Holy Spirit to finish the work He started. I couldn't help but think of the church and how we each are called to use our gifts-one is a hand, one is a foot, etc. We each have different gifts that are useful in helping the church out. It seems that the Trinity is similar. Each part of the Godhead has their own function as well..In this case, Jesus died to create the gift of sanctification, in fact He created the ability to be sanctified, and the Holy Spirit enacts it into our lives, and moves in us to make us holy.

It might sound weird, but for some reason I visualize it as a painting. We are the canvas, the Holy Spirit is the artist, and Jesus supplied paints (His sanctification) to the artist. The Holy Spirit then paints our canvas to Jesus' likeness, thereby sanctifying us. I just saw it as a cool new way to look at it. I sware, you can read the Bible a zillion times, and still find something new to intrigue you! And I guarantee--- I will find a way to incorporate that piece of doctrine into my next Sunday School Class!!!!!!!

Holy Spirit,
Thank you for moving through my life each day to sanctify me and make me more like Christ. I pray that each day you will have a little less work to do on me! Amen

My husband

God has really been trying to speak to me today, and I've been doing my best to listen, but sometimes His words are tough. Let me give you a little background...

My husband will be leaving at the end of the month to go a 10 week training tour to be a US Air Force Chaplain Candidate. We are hoping that after graduation from Seminary, Matt will be able to apply to go active duty with Air force and we can serve in that capacity. Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a big crier, so you can just imagine that I am a big blubber face about him being gone for almost 3 months! I know, mentally, that we will be fine, and I know that this is a great opportunity for our whole family. And there is a huge part of me that is really excited for Matt! He's finally able to fulfill his dream! What I didn't expect was that recently, there has been an excitement growing in me for what I am going to learn from this summer. Lately, I have been sensing that God is preparing me for something, and He has been teaching me new lessons about Him, daily. Today, I clearly heard Him speak to me through Psalm 68:3-6

"But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful. Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds-- his name is the Lord-- and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land."

I don't want to over dramatize this by saying I feel as if I am a widow, because I know I am not, and I am very aware of the many women whose husbands are in grave danger serving our country and those who have lost loved ones defending our freedom through the armed forces. Please know that I do not wish to minimize their situations by saying that my husband is in the same boat! What I did feel God was saying to me, was that He wants to fill the void as my husband this summer. It was as if He was asking me, "Do you think I am big enough to be that for you, Amber?"

Several years ago, Matt and I had a miscarriage. It was, of course, devastating. What made it harder for me was that I had no support system in the immediate days following the loss, other than my husband, and he was going through his own turmoil. My best friend left the day I found out, for a 2 week vacation to Hawaii; my family lived several hours away; and I had told no one at my church or work that I was even pregnant. I was left alone to deal with my loss. God revealed Himself to me in a way I had never seen Him before in my life. The comfort I felt from God was overwhelming. I can't even put into words the embrace I felt from God's love and comfort. It was almost palpable. At that time, He showed Himself to me as my friend. I knew Him in an intimate way that I had never seen before, and in a way I will never forget.

So as God was speaking to me today, He was saying, "Remember how I was there for you as a friend, when you had no one? Well, I can be your comfort as a husband in the same way-trust me-I can do it!"

And, I know I can trust Him, because He has proven Himself faithful to me before. He has filled that gap in my life, that only He could fill, and I know He will again. So, even though it will be tough without Matt around me this summer, I said yes to God! And it fills me with joy and praise to Him for what I know He will do in my life. I am honestly excited to see how He is going to work in me this summer, and see what new lessons I will learn about my amazing God!

Please God-be like a husband to me this summer. Be big in my life and teach me things about You that I have never seen before. Reveal yourself to me in a new way, and help me to grow in you.

Freedom

So, I'm sitting here, having my afternoon time with God. My small group at church is going through a book by Stormie OMartian entitled, "The Prayer that Changes Everything". It is about praising God and releasing it into our prayer life. I have been quite challenged by this weeks reading. It is about praising God "Because He has forgiven me", and really deals with the aspect of freedom when we accept God's daily forgiveness in our lives. Lately, I have been pondering this thought, and this week's study has really hit home-What does freedom really look like?

Intellectually, I know that when I entered into a relationship with Christ that my sins were forgiven, and that God himself doesn't even remember them. But then....why do I keep bringing them up? It is as if I haven't forgiven myself for the sins I have committed. So then, how do I let that go?

In this book, Stormie emphasizes that by not accepting God's forgiveness, we cheapen the sacrifice He made on the cross. By all means, that is not what I want to do, but I do think there is a delicate line. On one hand, I don't ever want to forget what God saved me from. I want to always be grateful for what He has made new and alive in my life, but at the same time, I don't want to carry a "guilt syndrome" around, never experiencing COMPLETE freedom in Christ. Freedom not just to make right decisions, and live the life He meant for me, but a completely guilt free life. A life free of guilty feelings. I'm not sure I have ever experienced that kind of freedom on a daily basis. I have for periods of time, usually when I am involved in a time of worship, and man-I love the feeling! It's probably one of the reasons singing on my church's worship team is my greatest passion! There is nothing like being in the presence of God! To figuratively see Him, face to face, and be in awe of His presence. Nothing else matters when I am there-not my past, not my present-just Him! It is so cool.

So how do I get that freedom on a daily basis? Honestly, I'm not sure I know. I used to think that if I prayed more or read my Bible more, God would reveal it to me. Lately, I have found that when I ask God to simply change me, and let Him take over-He does, and I am different! So, I'm gonna try that and see if it works. As you can see, I'm on a bit of a journey where that is concerned. I did run across a Bible verse while I was studying this subject, and it gave me some comfort. Romans 8:1-2

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death."
I guess I needed the reminder that it is not what we do, good or bad, that sets us free or condemns us. It is having a relationship with Jesus that gives us life. It's my relationship with Him that frees me from having to follow a set of laws that defines if I am good or bad. That's just legalism, and I am sooooooo over that!

I don't know if you are like me and live constantly with guilty feelings, but if you do, you are welcome to join me on my journey to complete freedom in Christ. Let me know how it works for you!

Lord, please show me what complete freedom in you is like, on a daily basis. Help me to let go of my guilty feelings and thoroughly accept your forgiveness in my life. I don't want to cheapen your sacrifice, but I also never want to take for granted why you came for me. God, I'm asking you to change me so I can live life to the fullness you promised. Only you can change my heart, so I'm asking you to be big in my life and do what only You can-change me!

Lessons on mercy from a 4 year old

This morning I noticed my 4 year old daughter, Kyla, dressed in her royal dress up attire playing intently in her play area. She was walking around from one stuffed animal to another asking for something. When she came to me, I realized she was asking for a "money donation". I asked her what the money was for, and she said it was for God-"to ask Him for a decision". We talked a little more, and the clarification I received was that she was collecting money to give to God so that he would make the world a better place. She said, with great emotion I might add, (where does she get that flair for the drama?) "Mommy, we just need some more grace and more mercy in the world!"
After a discussion about why we really tithe and how God does not respond to our money, but our hearts (How do they pick that kind of thing up at such a young age?), I stopped to think how right her little heart was. This world is in desperate need of a little-forget that-A LOT more grace and mercy. And the thing of it is, we are the ones He asks to offer it to the world. So often, I know I am the one asking for grace and mercy, but I really need to turn my thoughts from my selfish self and on to helping a world in need of just a little bit of grace and mercy.
I love Micah 6:8. It says,
"He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God."
There are very few things that God requires of us, and for some reason, I always seem to have the hardest time with showing mercy. It is so much easier to get mad at the person who cut me off on the expressway than it is to offer a little mercy to them, or it's easier to get irritated with my husband when he leaves his socks on the floor, instead of just picking them up, without griping! I am floored when I think about how much grace and mercy God shows me everyday, and how much I fall short of His example.

Lord, help me to develop Kyla's mindset and offer a little of the missing grace and mercy that this world so desperately needs.

Rahab and the Scarlet Letter

So, lately I have become enamored with the Bible story of Rahab, found in Joshua 2. I thought I'd write some of what God has been showing me. It's still a work in progress, so bear with me!

In summary, Rahab was a prostitute living in the city of Jericho. Some Israelite spies sought refuge at her home where they hid as they were gathering info on how to take the city. In exchange for Rahab's protection, the spies promised to save her from the destruction to fall upon the city, as long as she tied a scarlet cord from her window.

There are so many parts to this story that I just love, it's hard to know where to begin! What first really intrigued me to her story was how she was presented in the Bible. In all but 1 reference to Rahab, she is referred to as "Rahab the prostitute". What a horrible title to have to bear your whole life! Even after she is rescued, converts to Judiasm, and even gets married, she is still...."Rahab the prostitute". It makes me think of that play/movie, "The Scarlet Letter" where a woman, caught in the act of adultery is punished by being forced to wear a red "A" , for adulteress, on her clothing. So there is Rahab, forced to bear the title of prostitute for all eternity, it seems. Talk about wearing a scarlet letter your whole life! But then...and this is what I find so cool... for a brief moment, she looses the title. How?

Let’s turn to Matthew 1:1-16. Do you know what this passage is? I’ll give you a hint, the last verse gives it away-it is the genealogy of Christ. What I want to look at in particular are verses 5-6.

“Salmon the father of Boaz, whose mother was Rahab, Boaz, the father of Obed, the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of King David.

Did you catch that? Rahab is a great (many times over) grandmother of Jesus. (And may I say that she and Mary, the mother of Jesus, are the only women mentioned in Jesus' family line) And did you notice, she is no longer listed as “the prostitute”? As I said earlier, every other mention of Rahab in the Bible is as “Rahab, the prostitute”, but not here! I get goosebumps as I think about this. At some point, she completely let go of her scarlet letter, and just became Rahab.

So.. when was it that she let go of her past? From what I see, it's when she became grafted into the family of Christ! Did she still have a past? Did she still have a story that was not what she may have wished for herself? Absolutely! But, when she became part of Jesus Christ, it all disappeared. Oh! I find that so comforting! It reminds me of Isaiah 1:18, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." We all have a past-a scarlet letter of our own, a story that may not be what we wished for our lives. But Thank God, when we become part of the family of Christ,when we accept Christ's atoning work on the cross and let him wash our scarlet sins-our scarlet letter, He makes it white as snow! It all disappears! We no longer have to wear our scarlet letter, our label. We don't have to be Johnny the alcoholic, or Suzie the gossip, or Rahab the prostitute; we can be ourselves. I can be just Amber!

Thank you God for washing my sins and making me white as snow! Thank you for removing my scarlet letter, and making me part of your family! Thank you for letting me be me-just Amber!

Tea Time

I don't know what life is like at your house, but at my place, life with 2 little girls requires that tea time is a regular event. Not only do we often participate in princess tea parties, but we frequent tea houses or coffee shops for a "real life grown-up" tea party. We find it to be a fun time to relax and I use the opportunity to catch up on what my daughters are really thinking. (It's amazing what my oldest can come out with when you give her a cup of tea and a cookie!)
In the afternoons, while my girls are taking their naps, I usually treat myself to a cup of tea and a cookie and take time to just breathe! It's also the time I use to spend with God and catch up with Him-to hear what he has to say and time for Him to hear what I am really thinking.
So, I don't know what will become of this blog, but with a cup of tea in hand, I'm hoping to use it as a time to just breathe and catch up...with you..with myself... and with my God. Thanks for taking time to have tea with me!